I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
