I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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