My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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