To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
