he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
