Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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