you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Can I color on your dick again?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
