we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
