Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
