He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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