I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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