I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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