I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Randomize
