I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
