Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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