...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
