no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
