Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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