My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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