I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
