i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
