Who did Billy Mays play for?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
