I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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