A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Dear god my vagina.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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