Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
