My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The Olympian is in my bed
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
