Plan B is the new Plan A
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
