Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
