Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
