is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
