Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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