he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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