to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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