How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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