dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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