i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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