Its about making memories worth repressing
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
