It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
