tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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