WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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