Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
did i walk over a car last night?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
