Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
