Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
