dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
