also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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