I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
