i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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