i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
