i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
