I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
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