You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I can text with my tongue
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
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