When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
