O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
